Killer Armadillos

Two weeks ago I was involved in a very dangerous situation. The trauma kept me from writing about it until now. This will be hard to explain unless you've also seen what I saw, but the odds of that are 1 in 10^gagillion.

This is still hard to talk about, but.. well.. I barely survived an attack of giant killer armadillos. I always used to think that if I stayed inside and didn't venture into "nature" that I could avoid such conflicts, but this happened to me in a city that has tried so hard to keep out killer armadillos that it paved over 101% of its surface: Irving, TX.

What? You don't believe me?
HA! Proof! Look at him destroying the Alamo and hungrily eyeing musicians!















We cowered in our seats, drinking beer after beer, nervously chuckling about our "hallucinations."

The band left and so did he, until...














He came back! Red with anger!

Then he devoured the band, the audience, and the employees.
Luckily I was vomited up and live to tell this horrid tale.