One Week Left...

One more week! In February and March, I couldn't see this far ahead. In April and June I felt like I was halfway done week after week after week. Now, it's almost over. The last week on a job is always a drag. Finishing up projects.. cleaning.. Wishing I could poof into a cloud of smoke instead of saying goodbye.

My job has rules about last days and the proper celebration. Depending on the occasion, severity of incident, length of employment, and relationship to employee, the proper celebration is spelled out in a memo. $5 for a retirement card. Lunch celebrations for a departing employee only if he's been there for at least one year. $50 gift if an employee is in the hospital, $20 if an employee's family member is in the hospital, a $5 card if it's a professional friend of the organization.

How do such memos come about? Did someone have a blowout retirement bash complete with slot machines and hookers and another guy celebrated retirement in his cubicle with a candle in his lean cuisine pizza? and someone got upset and reported it?

I don't think leaving after 5.5 months allows for any celebration.. They can't stop me from getting a $2 margarita AFTER work though. ahah! beating the system..

There's also a memo about stealing food from the refrigerator ("don't do it"), due to a still at-large culprit who went on a lunch bag bonanza 5 years ago. And a memo warning us that all of our food, tupperware and gold-leaf wrapped sandwiches included, will be disposed of 5pm every Friday. Of course this only happens on Fridays when I've brought in a pint of coffee creamer earlier in the week, which of course can't be used by a normal lactose-intolerant person in 5 days, despite drinking 3+ cups per day. This is why I now drink black coffee and have yellow teeth. (There is the dried bits of creamer in a tube made from hydrogenated pork rinds.. tempting.. tempting)

Right. One week left. It's been fun and I'm sooo glad I spent 5+ months here, but.. is it time to be in Austin yet?? >:)